Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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