Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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