You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
