On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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