apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
