Please, let me fuck your mom
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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