Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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