His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
