is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
