i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
