She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
