It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
