I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
