i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize