There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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