I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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