I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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