He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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