I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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