Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
