Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
