this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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