I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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