Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
