she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The beer is more important than you right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
