Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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