We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My life is pants optional.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
