I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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