i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize