There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
