I CAN MOONWALK!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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