the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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