I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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