and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you win again, gameday.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
