He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
