call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
