Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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