dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
