I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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