it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
