I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
