I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
