No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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