i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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