he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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