i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
