dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My balls are so social today.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
