i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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