You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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