The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize