the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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