Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
