weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
