she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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