What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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