bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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