Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
