i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
